


the one where everybody finds out

by mynameisbirdie



Series: i'll be there for you ('cause you're there for me too) [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Gen, POV Outsider, Secret Relationship, peter is spider-man but it really doesn't matter in this fic, somewhat based on episode 5x14 of friends but really based on the entire season lead-up to that, the friends au nobody asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:02:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25924828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mynameisbirdie/pseuds/mynameisbirdie
Summary: Ned Leeds, Liz Allan, and Betty Brant are 100%, absolutely, without-a-doubt positive that their friends, Peter Parker and Michelle Jones, are dating. Because, well, they're really bad at keeping it a secret.It happens like this.ORThe Friends AU nobody asked for.
Relationships: Michelle Jones/Peter Parker
Series: i'll be there for you ('cause you're there for me too) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1881457
Comments: 27
Kudos: 78





	the one where everybody finds out

**Author's Note:**

> *shows up 6 months late with starbucks and...this*
> 
> hey. 
> 
> special thanks to [TheHeroicHydrangea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHeroicHydrangea/pseuds/TheHeroicHydrangea) for agreeing to beta this when i didn't warn her that it was 22 pages long!

Ned Leeds is 100%, absolutely, without-a-doubt positive that his best friends, Peter Parker and Michelle Jones are dating.

Because, well, they had told him. Only after he’d already figured it out on his own, but those are just semantics.

It happened like this:

It’s their junior year of college. Peter and Ned had been knee-deep in prepping for their upcoming senior projects at MIT, and MJ and Betty were drowning in grad school applications while also trying to prepare for their theses at Harvard. Liz, having graduated one year prior from USC with a World Bachelor in Business, had landed a job in Boston with a start-up, which brought all of its own trials and tribulations. And Flash was there, too, at Tufts studying engineering (he was suffering less than the rest of them, as he’d taken a gap year after they all graduated high school, and was now managing to survive off of his sheer inflated ego and Daddy’s credit card). The point being it was Stress City for the majority of them, and Spring Break was serving as their collective light at the end of the tunnel.

It was clear that all of them needed a break, some time to unwind and regroup before the real hell began on the back-half of their final semester, so Ned had come up with the  _ brilliant _ idea that they should all take a group trip to Europe for Spring Break. Different cities had been tossed around as possible vacation destinations. MJ had wanted Prague “for the  _ museums _ , guys,” while Liz had wanted to go back to Italy to explore more than just Milan.

“What about Venice?” she had suggested.

“Oh, I hear it’s beautiful there this time of year,” Betty had said with a dreamy sigh.

“It’s Italy, when is it not?” MJ had said at her computer, mumbling something about edits as she clacked at her keyboard. “Did you guys even look at the list of museums I sent you in Prague?”

“Michelle, no one  _ cares  _ about the museums. It’s Spring Break, we gotta go somewhere with a good  _ party _ scene, duh. The best Prague has are weird pop-up carnivals. Lame.” Flash had said, tossing a pretzel into his mouth.

“Huh, funny, I don’t remember including you on that thread,  _ Eugene _ .”

“I think Prague sounds great!” Peter had chimed in, always the peacekeeper. “I looked at the potential itinerary you sent, MJ. The Museum of Communism sounded really fascinating.”

Ned had rolled his eyes - of  _ course _ Peter would have looked at MJ’s possible itinerary. “Seriously, Pete? We passed AP Gov in high school so that we  _ wouldn’t _ have to keep learning about that stuff when we went to college. Sounds like more homework to me.”

“Well, I think it sounds fun,” he’d said with a small smile and soft eyes aimed at MJ, which she had returned. Ned couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

So, for context: The two of them had been skirting around each other for practically five years, meaning Ned’s patience had been running extremely thin for approximately four and a half years. He had known they’d both liked each other for a long time now - he was best friends with both of them, after all, and it was almost impossible not to notice their longing glances and mutual pining when it had been going on for  _ five years _ . They needed to get it together.

“I dunno, Venice sounds pretty great,” Ned had stated loudly. “It’s so  _ romantic _ there, ya know?” He’d wiggled his eyebrows knowingly at Peter, whose jaw had tightened, eyes wide as he shook his head.

“Isn’t Venice like, really expensive though? I’m not trying to spend my life savings before I even get into grad school,” MJ had said, not seeing Ned and Peter’s exchange in favor of squinting at her computer screen.

The conversation had devolved from there. Someone had brought up the idea of going to London - “No language barrier, that’s a definite plus,” - and with a few quick Google searches, it seemed like the best option with the most sites and activities that everyone could agree on. Plus, Flash’s dad had a condo in London that they could stay at for free. Ned had known becoming friends with him would come in handy someday.

So, it was decided. Flights were booked, bags were packed, and the gang had spent an entire week living it up in London together. A seemingly innocent vacation with friends.

Except not, because when they’d gotten back, something had been...off. 

Ned had noticed almost immediately, because while MJ prided herself on being observant, Ned Leeds was an expert when it came to his friends. 

It wasn’t that anything was wrong, per se, but something had changed. He wasn’t sure if he was just making it up, but MJ and Peter seemed to be avoiding each other. The wistful looks and child-like blushing had ceased whenever they were around each other, but as the weeks went by, he saw less and less of his roommate and more and more of Peter’s closed bedroom door. 

Peter had also become obsessed with his phone - he was always looking down at it and grinning or laughing, in that annoying high-school-crush kind of way. When Ned had asked him about it, Peter had been dodgy, claiming that he was just texting May or looking at a funny meme. “It’s no big deal,” he’d said.

And if Ned Leeds knows one thing about Peter Parker, it's that he is a  _ terrible _ liar. 

Needless to say, Ned's best friend senses were on high alert during their last few weeks of school. But it wasn’t until their first week of finals that he was able to figure it out.

Peter and MJ had decided, completely separate from each other (as they had stressed) that they both needed some time away from Cambridge. It wasn’t uncommon for some of them to visit home every now and then; they had all taken plenty of trips back to New York to see their families, sometimes all of them together, other times just a couple of them. So the two of them taking this quick weekend trip back home wasn’t really anything out of the ordinary.

Or at least, it shouldn’t have been.

Peter had seemed oddly chipper when he’d returned from New York, and at first Ned had chalked it up to being around May for the weekend. He always seemed a little more at peace after going home, but this felt different. 

He got his first clue when, on the evening that Peter had returned and was unpacking his bag from the weekend, Ned noticed a book with Peter’s things that was definitely not his. Ned stopped in the middle of his retelling about how he spent all of Saturday running errands with Betty.

“bell hooks? Wasn’t MJ reading this last week?” He’d asked, picking up the book from Peter’s bed.

Peter’s eyes had widened and he’d lunged for the book, grabbing it out of Ned’s hand. “Uh, yeah! It’s MJ’s, she’s just um…” he had hesitated, glancing around the room quickly, seemingly searching for some sort of response before blurting out, “she’s letting me borrow it! She told me all about it on our drive there and she - she finished it over the weekend, so I asked if I could read it. Yeah,” he’d finished, almost looking pleased with himself.

Ned glanced at the book in Peter’s hand and raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to read ‘Communion: The...  _ Female  _ Search for Love?’”

“Yeah, well, if MJ’s taught me anything in all our years of friendship it’s that it’s important to consider every point of view, you know?” He’d said it all in a rush, his voice rising in octave as he spoke, and he had moved on to unpacking more of his things, not looking at Ned. 

“Uh...okay. So anyway, we ended up going to…” The topic had dropped then, and Ned didn’t think anything of it until a few days later, when he’d been in his room and heard Peter get home, talking with May on FaceTime. As soon as he’d heard her voice, he’d gotten up from his desk and made his way to the door to go say hi (she had a tendency to scold him when he didn’t), but he’d heard her ask something that stopped him in his tracks.

“Hey, how was the trip to Providence by the way? Did you guys have a good time?” 

_ Providence?  _ Peter hadn’t been to Providence lately - at least, not that he’d told Ned about. The gang had often talked about how they should all take a trip down there, but it had never come to fruition due to all of their busy schedules. 

“Oh, it was great! Thanks for the suggestion, it was kind of the perfect getaway for us…” Peter’s voice had trailed off, becoming more muffled as he went into his room, leaving Ned thoroughly confused. And what was even weirder was the way Peter's voice had sounded - his tone had taken on a giddy lilt when he was talking about the  _ getaway _ . Oddly enough, it sounded eerily similar to how Peter talked about the girls he liked - more specifically MJ in the past few years - whenever they weren't around.

Something fishy was going on, but instead of trying to ask Peter about it, Ned had decided to keep it to himself. He had been friends with MJ for long enough to learn that observation was the key to figuring people out - so he observed.

When all of them were together, Peter and MJ, who had previously been very purposeful about sitting as near to each other as possible without giving any indication of their interest in each other, now took strides to sit apart. Peter would sit on the couch next to him, or Liz, or even  _ Flash _ , before he would sit next to MJ. They barely addressed each other directly anymore, and Ned was beginning to get worried that something had happened. The most plausible explanation he could come up with was that Peter and MJ had fought about something, and were avoiding each other.

But before he could ask Peter about it, he had seen the ticket. 

They had all been gathered in MJ and Liz’s apartment for their bi-weekly Movie Friday, and at one point Flash, tipsy, had knocked over a glass that contained some sort of alcohol and fruit cocktail mixture. It had spilled all over the coffee table, and MJ’s latest book had been pushed off the table to avoid certain ruin. The book had fallen right in front of Ned, facedown, at the place that had been marked by a piece of paper that MJ was using as her latest bookmark. But when Ned had picked up the book, he’d come to find that the bookmark wasn’t a simple piece of paper at all.

No, in fact, it was a train ticket.

To Providence.

He had turned to MJ, the book in one hand and the train ticket in the other, his brow furrowed. “Wait MJ, when did you - ” 

_ Click _ .

Ned’s eyes had widened, his mouth dropping open as he connected the dots. The sudden trip home just before finals, the book in Peter’s bag, the call with May, the  _ ticket _ \- 

Peter and MJ were together.

_ Holy shit _ . 

“Oh. OH.  _ Ooooohhhh oh oh oh! _ ” He frantically pointed between Peter and MJ, his voice rising in volume as the two of them scrambled over to him. MJ covered his mouth with her hand, while Peter grabbed his arms and began dragging him into MJ’s bedroom. Ned tried to fight him off, but, well. Super human strength was kind of hard to beat.  _ So not fair _ .

Once the door had securely been shut behind them, MJ looked dead into his eyes, her expression unreadable.

“I’m going to take my hand off of your mouth, Leeds, but you have to  _ promise _ to be cool about this.”

Ned nodded beneath her hand. MJ’s eyes narrowed, but she backed away slowly and dropped her hand.

“Okay, first thing’s first - it is about damn time you two got your act together."

"Thanks, Ned," Peter said with exasperation, his head falling into his hand. MJ rolled her eyes, her arms crossed in a defensive stance.

"I mean, seriously - five years, you guys. I've been watching the two of you pine after each other for five years.  _ Five! _ "

"We get it, Ned."

"This is  _ huge _ ! Like, monumental, life-altering news. I mean - okay Peter, remember when I said you being Spider-Man might have been the greatest thing to ever happen to me?" Peter lifted an eyebrow. "I was wrong. It's this.  _ This  _ is the greatest thing to ever happen to me."

"Hey,  _ Ned-Nerd _ \- we're glad you're so thrilled and all, but could you maybe keep it down?" MJ said through her teeth. Her eyes flitted to the door and back. "We're trying to keep this on the DL at the moment."

"Fine, fine," he said, dropping his voice to a loud whisper. "But you gotta tell me - when did it happen? And how?"

MJ and Peter locked eyes for a moment, their gazes softening for each other. The corner of Peter's mouth flicked upwards as MJ looked down and tucked her hair behind her ear. It was so uncharacteristically soft for her that Ned probably wouldn't have believed it had he not been there to witness it.

"Well, it - it happened in London, actually."

"IN  _ LONDON _ ?!"

Peter and MJ both jumped on him, MJ covering his mouth again as Peter tackled him, bringing all three of them onto MJ's bed. 

" _ Shhhhh _ , dude come on."

"Okay, sorry, I'm sorry! I just - you've kept it a secret for so long! Why?"

"Well…" Peter started, moving off of Ned and sitting up on the bed. MJ followed suit. "We just wanted to make sure it was real. You may say you've watched us pine after each other for five years, but this is all new to us. And we wanted that - just us, at least for a little while."

Ned had felt something in his chest lurch. It was a fair reason - if they had told everyone when it had officially happened, it would have become a  _ thing _ . There would have been expectations, jokes, teasing - a lot to put on two people who were just starting out a relationship. And he loved them both enough to admit that, even though he was a little upset that they had kept it from them - from  _ him _ \- they deserved their privacy to figure it all out.

"I'm really mad at you guys for keeping something so huge from me, you know," he scolded.

“Yeah, we deserve that, probably.” MJ said with a shrug, somewhat apologetic. 

Ned couldn’t help but smile as he looked between his two friends, whose hands had found each other’s across the bed. He watched as Peter’s thumb rubbed against the back of Michelle’s knuckles, and somehow it felt so normal and right that he couldn’t help but swing an arm around both of their necks, bringing them into a group hug. MJ’s arm came up behind Ned’s back, hooking onto his shoulder as she tucked her head under his. On his other side, Peter’s head rested against his own, settling into Ned’s arm. They all sat quietly like that for a few minutes, before Ned broke the silence.

“Honestly though, I am so happy for you guys.”

“Thanks, buddy,” Peter said, the corner of his mouth upticking in a smile. 

The three of them pulled away, exchanging relieved smiles before Ned said, “So, now that it’s all out there, when are you guys going to tell everyone else?”

“I mean, it’s not all out there. It’s just you really, who knows.”

“Yeah, dude, I don’t think we’re going to tell anyone else yet.” Peter said, his brow furrowing. ”You don’t mind keeping it a secret until we’re ready, right?” 

Ned hadn’t minded, at the time. He was well-versed in keeping secrets for Peter Parker and Michelle Jones. 

But, in hindsight, he should have known it would be short-lived.

* * *

Liz Allen is 100%, absolutely, without-a-doubt positive that her friend, Peter Parker, and her roommate, Michelle Jones, are dating.

Because, well, they’re kind of the worst secret-keepers in the world.

It happened like this:

School was over for all of her friends, at least for the brief reprieve that was summer break. All of them had internships or jobs lined up for the summer, and Liz had been at her new job for almost nine months now. It was going well - though working for a start-up was stressful and challenging, Liz Allen was never one to back down from a challenge. But that didn’t mean that it was perfect.

Her least favorite thing about her job was how little she got to see her friends. Like most start-up companies these days, they demanded a lot from their employees - overtime was a weekly occurrence and she could rarely get through a night out without receiving some sort of panicked email or phone call from her supervisees. She barely saw MJ anymore, since her internship at the Immigrant and Refugee Advocacy Coalition begun at the beginning of June. Their schedules never seemed to match up, and whenever Liz had free time it seemed like MJ was either behind her closed door or working at her part-time job in the local bookstore down the street.

“Hey, I’m thinking of putting a self-embargo on all things work-related this weekend,” Liz had said on a Thursday night not too far into the summer. “Betty and I were going to check out that new crêpe place down the street for breakfast, run some errands, maybe go see a movie. You want to come? I feel like I never see you anymore.”

MJ had stopped reading, her mouth twisting into an apologetic frown. “That sounds great, but I can’t. I already told Ms. Hattie that I’d do a double at the bookstore on Saturday. And I could really use the hours.”

“Okay, what about Sunday?”

“Uh. Yeah, I’m busy on Sunday, too. Gonna have an Epic Laundry Day and try to get through a few of these,” she said, tapping the large pile of books sitting on their coffee table. “Sorry. Any other weekend,” she said with a shrug. 

Liz had visibly deflated, but she tried not to let her disappointment show too much. “Oh, okay. Some other time, then.”

“Yeah, you and Betty have fun - let me know how that crêpe place is. I’ll catch you next time.” 

The next morning, Liz had gotten up early to get ready for her day out with Betty, only to receive a text from her before she’d even left her room saying she had to cancel -  _ Cramps, ugh  _ she’d said - and Liz was nothing if not understanding. She had decided to stay in for the day and try to get some work done around their apartment; there were dishes piling up in the sink, and she couldn’t remember the last time she or MJ had done a deep clean of the bathroom. 

Just as she was about to leave her room, she heard MJ’s door close and the distinct sound of FaceTime ringing in their open living room (the walls in their apartment were paper-thin). It didn’t ring for long before she heard a somewhat-breathless voice pick up on the other end.

“MJ, hey!”

“Hey, dork.”

_ Peter, then _ . He’d been in New York for the past week to visit May, and he’d managed to set up a few meetings at Stark Industries with to talk possibilities for his upcoming senior project (Liz could only assume that his connections from high school had paid off for him to be having these kind of meetings now, three years after he had graduated high school).

“So what’s up? Everything okay?” he’d asked, a note of concern in his voice.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. I’m headed to work in a bit for a double shift. I just, um,” she hesitates, her voice shy. “Wanted to see you, I guess.”

And okay, that was weird. Peter and MJ were clearly crazy about each other, and had been for years, but neither of them had ever made a move. She was surprised to hear them speaking so openly to one another, which was the only reason she had elected to stay in her room, listening.

“Awww,” he said, his voice soft. “I’ll be home tomorrow.”

“I know. I...may have blocked off my whole day so that we could hang, just the two of us?”

_ Wait, what?  _ MJ had told Liz she was going to be doing laundry all day, so why all of a sudden was she setting aside her day for Peter?

“Your place or mine?”

“Is mine okay? I told Liz I’d be having an epic laundry day, which isn’t a total lie. If you don’t mind keeping me company in the laundry room most of the day?”

“Epic laundry day, huh? Is that the new codename for our secret relationship?”

_ Relationship?! _

Well. That certainly explained a lot.

“You are such a dork.”

“Yeah, but I’m  _ your  _ dork,” Peter said, his voice dropping lower. 

“Mmm. Yeah, you are.” There was a moment of silence, before MJ had let out a semi-disgusted sound. “Blegh, you’ve turned me all soft, Parker.”

“I like it when you’re like this, though,” he replied, his voice teasing.

“...It’s tolerable. For you.”

Liz could practically hear the smile in Peter’s voice when he said, “You really shouldn’t have called. Now I’m just going to spend the whole day missing you.”

“Gross...but I miss you, too.”

Liz couldn’t see them, but she could imagine their faces - Peter would be looking at MJ with a grin on his face, the one that was reserved specifically for her, the one he’d been giving her for years before they’d (apparently) started dating. MJ’s smile would be small, genuine just for him. 

“I should get going. My shift starts in ten,” MJ said, breaking the silence.

“Oh, okay. Yeah, go on, then,” he said, his voice hinting a tinge of disappointment. “I’ll talk to you later, though?”

“Definitely. And I’ll see you tomorrow.”

His voice sounded hopeful when he said, “Tomorrow. Bye, MJ.”

“Bye, nerd.”

Liz heard Peter’s laughter once more before MJ hung up. She waited a couple of minutes before moving around in her room to alert MJ of her presence, and then opened her door to the living room. MJ was standing in the kitchen next to their tea kettle, her back to Liz, but when the door opened she turned around, surprised.

“Oh. Hey,” she said, her eyes widening ever so slightly. “Thought you were out with Betty.”

“Yeah, well, I just got a text from her,” Liz waved her phone around. “She’s not feeling well. We’re going to hold off.”

“Oh. Bummer.”

“It’s fine - I’ll probably spend some time around the house cleaning today.”

A stiff nod. “Cool.” The two were silent for a moment, MJ testing her tea before setting it back down and turning to Liz, her brow furrowed. “How long have you been up, by the way?”

“Not long,” Liz lied. “Maybe 10 minutes.” When MJ nodded, she tilted her head with false innocence and said, “Why do you ask?”

“I’d, uh. Just been on the phone with my mom, wanted to make sure I hadn’t woken you up.”

“Oh, that’s who you were talking to?” Liz made her way closer to the kitchen, keeping busy by making herself some coffee, decidedly not looking at MJ.

“Yep.” MJ took a long sip of her tea as they both stood there awkwardly for a moment, before breaking the silence. “Alright, well. I have to head to work.”

With that, MJ had made her way towards the door without so much as a glance towards Liz, but just as she had grabbed the handle, Liz turned towards her.

“Hey, MJ?”

MJ leaned out from behind the open door, an expectant eyebrow raised in response. Liz gave her a knowing smile, her eyes narrowing slightly in suspicion, something she’d seen MJ do countless times when she was trying to size someone up. She waited a moment, then dropped the expression in favor of a friendly smile. “Have a good day!”

It was MJ’s turn to narrow her eyes. “Thanks. You, too.” And with that, she was gone.

Liz kept herself busy for the next few hours, actually working to clean their apartment while she processed this new information. It helped, having something to do with her hands, having something that she could accomplish while her brain ran a mile a minute asking questions she didn’t know the answers to.  _ When did this happen? How did they get together? Why were they keeping it a secret from the rest of them?  _ She couldn’t stop the questions from coming to her, but with each one she only grew more and more impatient and frustrated. 

She had been straightening the pillows on the couch when she finally got some reprieve - questions running through her head in exchange for thoughts of  _ ew ew ew GROSS why?!! _

Because there, stuffed deep in between the middle and right couch cushion, was a pair of plaid boxers.

_ Dirty _ plaid boxers.

“Ohmy _ god _ , ew ew ew  _ ew _ , gross!” Liz yelled, jumping back away from the couch. Without thinking, she grabbed the offending pair and paced around the apartment, flailing them about as she tried to think of a game plan. She was careful to hold them by the band - because  _ ew _ \- and ran out of her apartment without thinking, grabbing her keys and letting the door slam behind her as she headed downstairs.

There was a small coffee shop that Liz and MJ frequented - The Rebel Café - across the street from her apartment. Liz’s feet carried her there without her even realizing it, until she was opening the door with a somewhat violent yank. Her unintentionally dramatic entrance combined with the bell above the door ringing had caused all of the current patrons in the café to turn their heads. Liz stood wide-eyed in the doorway, scanning her eyes over the room before landing on a familiar face.

_ Ned _ . 

Liz bolted over to the pick-up counter, where he was standing in a short line waiting on his order. His brow had furrowed at the sight of her - likely because of her clearly frazzled state. 

“Liz?”

“Ned, oh my god, I am so happy to see you.”

“What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

“Everything is -  _ weird _ .” She said, closing her eyes and shaking her head in a futile attempt to rid her brain of the thoughts she’d been having for the past few hours. 

“Uhh…?” Liz opened her eyes to find Ned staring at her hand, which - as she had so conveniently forgotten - was still holding the pair of boxers.  _ Aw, hell _ .

“These are not mine.”

“Well, I would hope not.”

"Do you recognize them at all?" Liz asked, an eyebrow raised. Ned and Peter were roommates - it would be completely unrealistic if Ned hadn't seen Peter in his underwear at some point. Surely if she could plant the hints, Ned would connect the dots.

To her surprise, Ned shook his head, his mouth turned downwards into a clueless frown. "Nope, can't say that I do. Are you sure they aren't left over from some party or something? You know how crazy college parties can get - the littest!" Ned said as he threw up a rockstar sign with his hand, laughing nervously. Liz narrowed her eyes.

"No, we haven't had a party in months. The only guys we have over are you, Flash, and Peter," she replied, her voice rising in octave when she said Peter's name. Though it was barely noticeable, Liz watched as Ned's eyes widened ever so slightly.

"Huh. Weird. Well, you know, maybe it was Flash. I wouldn't put it past him to pull something like this as a prank, hah. Classic Flash, am I right? Annoying and disgusting, all at the same time." Ned's eyes had looked anywhere but hers, and his saving grace came when the barista finally called out his name. A look of relief washed over his face as he went to grab his cup. "Let me know how the case of the mystery boxers goes, Liz." And with a tip of his hat, Ned made his way to the door.

"Wait! Ned," she said, catching his arm before he was able to make his escape. Liz looked dead in his eyes and gave him her best Captain-of-Decathlon look, the one she'd been told by her friends rivaled only MJ's in intensity. She kept her voice low as she asked, "Do you know something?"

Ned's eyebrows shot up. "No!” He said, entirely too quickly to be believable. “I mean - why? Do you know something?” he asked, his eyes narrowing.

Liz’s eyes squinted in turn. “I might know something.”

“I might know something, too.”

“What’s the thing you know?”

“Oh no, I can’t tell you. Why don’t you tell me what you know?”

“Oh, I can’t tell you what I know.”

“Well then, I can’t tell you what I know.”

“Okay, fine.”

Both of them stood there for a moment, sizing each other up in front of the entire coffee shop, before Ned’s lips upticked in a smirk. “You don’t know.”

Liz’s eyebrows shot up, and with complete confidence she turned towards the door and marched out. “Okay fine, then why don’t I go down the block to the book shop and just ask MJ about these,” she said back to Ned, holding the suspecting pair of boxers up, “and then I will see if the thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know!”

Ned let out a loud gasp as he followed after her in the middle of the busy sidewalk, pointing a finger in her direction. “YOU KNOW!”

“And you know!”

“Yeah, I know!”

“MJ and Peter?” Liz asked for confirmation. At Ned’s frantic nodding, she brought a hand up to her forehead, her eyes wide. “This is  _ huge _ , I can’t believe it took them  _ five years _ . And I can’t believe they’re trying to hide it!” She brought her hand back down to her side and looked out towards the street when something else occurred to her. Her head snapped back in Ned’s direction. “Wait, Ned - how long have you known?”

Ned grabbed at Liz’s wrists, waving them around in between them in a desperate manner. “Oh my god, Liz,  _ too long _ ! I have been dying to tell someone about this! But listen, you can’t tell anyone, okay? They’re being so weird about it.” The two of them started walking back towards Liz and MJ’s apartment building, an understanding between them that they needed to decompress all of this new information.

“So how much do you know? When did this happen? How?”

Ned threw his hands up in an ‘I-surrender’ gesture. “All I know is it happened in London.”

“In  _ London _ ?!”

Liz and Ned spent the remaining hours of the day at her apartment, alternating between conjecturing about their friends’ relationship and freaking out about someone else knowing. At some point, Liz, who had been holding onto Peter’s boxers for far too long, worked up enough nerve to venture into MJ’s room and throw them in with her laundry. She had the good sense to bury them under some other clothes so as not to alert her roommate of her newfound knowledge.

By the time MJ had gotten off of work Ned had gone home, and Liz was holed up in her room for the night, too amped up from the craziness of the day to be able to face her roommate and not spill her guts at the sight of her. Instead, she had planned to confront MJ the next morning and fell asleep to the sounds of her own thoughts playing out all the possible scenarios she could face in the morning.

Sunday, as MJ had previously told her, was to be MJ’s Epic Laundry Day - a designated once-a-month, all-day affair when MJ camped out in their building’s laundry room, and either binged true crime documentaries or read several of her many checked-out library books. But usually, these days were reserved for MJ alone, a chance for her to recharge after having entirely too much social interaction. Knowing that Peter was now going to be a part of this day, well, made Liz feel a little hurt.

She was happy for her two friends, of course - this had been a long time coming for the both of them, and they did seem really happy. But to have something so monumental happen and not tell any of them? 

Liz and MJ were close, at least she thought they were, and if she was being honest with herself, it hurt that MJ had felt like she couldn’t share this with her.

Liz kept herself busy again throughout the morning, answering a few emails for work (clearly her self-embargo on all things work-related was going well), and actually cleaning the bathroom (she hadn’t gotten to it the day before because -  _ well _ ). MJ passed in and out of the apartment a few times, grabbing various loads of laundry throughout the day. They kept their interactions to a minimum, because Liz knew that’s how MJ preferred it.

It was around 3 o’clock when Liz emerged from the bathroom to find one of MJ’s t-shirts on the floor just outside their front door. Liz rolled her eyes as she picked the shirt up. This almost always happened on MJ’s laundry days - at least one garment of clothing managed to escape the hamper and Liz always had to bring it down to the building’s shared laundry room for her. This day, apparently, would be no exception.

As Liz examined the shirt more closely, she realized it wasn’t actually one of MJ’s shirts at all. It was a simple white t-shirt, and if she hadn’t picked it up she would have just figured it was one of her classic feminist t-shirts, but it was much bigger than any shirt MJ would own,. When she unbundled it she came face to face with a right triangle and a cheesy slogan - “Find X - here it is.” 

_ Peter’s _ . 

Liz let out a groan. Her friends really needed to learn how to keep a secret better. 

In a moment, Liz realized that this was actually a good thing - she had a reason to confront MJ now, today. They could get everything out in the open and stop lying to each other.

Math pun t-shirt in hand, Liz headed down the three flights of stairs to the basement of their building where the laundry room was located. It was dingy and perpetually smelled like old socks, but use of it was included in the rent, so it was good enough. 

When she landed on the bottom step, she was surprised to hear a loud laugh coming from the laundry room. It was undeniably MJ’s - she’d heard it plenty of times to know it anywhere - and whatever was making her laugh must have been really good, because she was pretty sure she heard a snort. 

“I’m serious! He was like - ” 

_ Hm. _ So Peter was already here, then. 

Liz contemplated marching right in there and confronting the both of them, but something in the way MJ was laughing made her pause. She had known her for so many years, and even after all this time, it seemed like Peter did the best job of breaking her out of her shell. And now, to hear her so unabashedly happy, she took a moment to just be excited for her friends. 

As their laughter finally died down, she heard Peter say, “So that was my weekend. How was yours?”

“Oh, it was fine. Nothing...too out of the ordinary.” Liz could imagine Peter’s confused look at her tone, prompting her to continue. “Well, Liz was acting a little strange? But I think I’m just being paranoid.”

At the mention of her own name, Liz moved closer to the door, standing just outside the entryway, her hands absentmindedly wringing Peter’s shirt.

“Strange how?”

“I don’t know, just looking at me weird a couple times, almost like she’s been watching me. You know, how I usually look at people.” Peter let out a chuckle at that. MJ continued, “there was a moment, though, when I left for work yesterday - after we hung up - that I thought she might have heard us.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. She gave me one of those withering stares I’m so fond of when I was leaving for my shift. It was...unsettling.” 

Liz brought a hand to her mouth to cover her laugh. It was good to know she could still be intimidating, even to MJ, when she wanted to.

“Well...do you want to tell her? I mean, Ned already knows. We could come clean.”

“Is that what you want?”

“I’ll follow your lead.”

There was a moment of silence, the sounds of the washers and dryers occupying the space between them before Liz heard a loud sigh.

“Part of me wants to. I hate lying to them - especially Liz. I usually tell her everything. She’s my best friend, practically my sister, you know?”

Her heart gave a little squeeze at MJ’s words. She’d known MJ considered her a best friend for a long time now - could tell by the way she opened up to her as they got older, by how easily they laughed together, and how quickly they could get annoyed at each other when living in close quarters - but to hear her voice it out loud was something new.

“It’s sucked not being able to talk to her about this - us. Especially because I’m...really happy. With you.”

Peter’s voice was soft, but she was able to make it out. “I’m happy with you, too.”

There was another moment of silence, a sharp intake of breath from one of them, and Liz could imagine that they were probably kissing now. It was sweet, but she stayed exactly where she was, anxiously waiting to hear the rest of their conversation. Though part of her felt like she should have left them to their privacy a long time ago, she resigned herself to finishing this out, her head leaning back against the wall. She’d already heard most of the conversation anyway; the damage was already done.

It was about another minute before she heard Peter let out a soft laugh, the grin evident in his voice when he said, “I really don’t get tired of doing that.”

“Focus, lover boy.” MJ deadpanned. “Your girlfriend is dealing with a serious moral dilemma, here.”

“Okay, okay. So, do you want to tell everyone?”

A pause. “Do you? Are you ready for that? All of the questions, and teasing, and ‘ _ oh-my-god-finally _ ’s? Because...I don’t know if I am. I like how things are now, just us getting to figure this out, how we want it to go, on our own terms. The second we tell everyone else…”

“Is the moment we give all that up,” Peter finished, letting out a deep sigh. “Yeah. I know.”

“So...no. I don’t think so. Not yet, anyway. Let’s just hold off for a little while longer.”

“Okay,” he’d replied, his voice soft. And then, within the same moment, he’d said, “Besides, there’s something kind of  _ sexy _ about sneaking around, don’t you think?” Peter’s voice was suggestive, playful, and Liz made a face as she started making her way back toward the stairs.

“Yeah, nothing says ‘sexy’ like an entire day devoted to you watching me fold my underwear in the dank laundry room of my shitty apartment building,” MJ quipped, her eye roll evident by her tone (if Liz knew her at all - and she did). 

Peter barked out a laugh as MJ said, “Speaking of, I need to go grab another load,” her voice getting closer to the entrance of the laundry room. Liz hurried up the stairs quickly and turned around, as if to make it look like she’d just arrived. When MJ made it to the entryway, she stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of Liz, her eyebrows shooting up her forehead. “Liz. Uh, hey.”

“Hey MJ,” Liz said, keeping her tone casual.

“What are you doing down here?” MJ’s eyes cut quickly toward the laundry room, and then back to her. Liz almost rolled her eyes, but managed to restrain herself; her friends really needed a lesson in subtlety.

“Oh, you dropped this,” she said, coming down a few steps to hand her the shirt. “I just wanted to make sure you got it before you started another load.”

MJ reached out, her brow furrowing as she took the shirt from Liz’s hands, almost as if she wasn’t sure what it was. She unfolded it, the design facing her, before Liz saw her eyes light up with recognition and she quickly balled up the shirt in her hands yet again. With a clearing of her throat, she looked back to Liz. “Uh. Thanks. I was just coming up to grab another load, but I’ll add this to the one I just put in.”

“Sure thing,” Liz said, trying her best to keep her voice even. “I’ll see you up there in a few.”

MJ gave her a tight smile and nodded as she stiffly headed back to the doorway. But before she was entirely in the room, Liz brought herself to speak again.

“MJ?”

“Hm?” MJ turned to face her again, her shoulders tense.

“Can we do something this week? Just the two of us? With my work and your internship, it’s been a while since we’ve had proper roommate time together.”

Liz watched as MJ’s shoulders sagged with relief, a small, genuine smile adorning her face. “I would love that.”

“Great,” Liz said, returning the smile. “Well, I’ll let you get back to your  _ laundry _ ,” she said, not being able to help the teasing lilt in her voice as she fixed her gaze on her roommate. 

MJ’s eyes narrowed. “Yeah. Thanks.”

They both stood there for a moment, sizing each other up, before Liz let her face break into a smile and turned to head up the stairs.

She had been willing to give them the time then.

But now,  _ well _ . It was about time they all came clean.

* * *

Betty Brant is 100%, absolutely, without-a-doubt positive that her friends, Peter Parker and Michelle Jones, are dating.

Because, well, they’re really fucking  _ loud _ .

It happened like this:

Brunch was a go. After weeks of having to reschedule because of work, exams, and her own dreaded menstrual cycle, Betty and Liz were  _ finally _ going to try the new crêpe place. And they were making a day of it - they both deserved some much-needed time off from work and school. The Farmer’s Market was within walking distance, and Betty was prepped with her crocheted reusable grocery bags, ready for a Sunday morning of fresh produce and window-shopping.

“Is MJ coming?” she’d asked, applying sunscreen to her face. At Liz’s raised eyebrow, she’d given her a stern look. “Don’t look at me like that, you know I burn easy.”

Liz let out a soft chuckle. “To answer your question, no, I don’t think she is. She was up late last night working on some deposition for the Coalition. Said she’d catch us next time.” Liz had thrown her water bottle in her bag, grabbing her wallet and keys from the kitchen counter. “Honestly, she’s probably still asleep.”

“Boo,” Betty had said, a frown adorning her face. “Is it just me or do we never see her anymore? I feel like we haven’t hung out in months.”

Liz’s brow had furrowed, and Betty took notice of the hesitation in her voice when she replied. “Yeah, I think she’s just been...busy, what with the Coalition internship and working at Hattie’s. I’m sure it’ll even out when school starts back up and you’re all mutually suffering together again.”

Betty groaned. “Ugh, don’t remind me,” she’d said, grabbing her bags and following Liz out the door. “I still have a month and a half before school starts back up. I don’t even want to think about having to write my thesis yet.”

Liz had locked the door behind her, and they headed down the stairs, Betty changing the subject to Liz’s ongoing work drama in order to avoid talking about the looming end of her academic career. Liz had taken the bait easy - and Betty was happy to listen; real adult work drama was  _ way  _ more interesting than anything having to do with school.

Having been so wrapped up in their conversation, Betty went to grab her sunglasses out of her purse and noticed something missing. “Oh shoot. I forgot my sunscreen - must have left it on your kitchen table.”

Liz had laughed, already fishing her keys out of her purse to hand over to her. “Here, I know without it you’ll just be worried about getting burned all day.”

“Skin care is  _ vital _ , Liz Allan!” she’d yelled over her shoulder as she headed back up the stairs to Liz and MJ’s apartment. 

The sunscreen was indeed right where she’d left it on the table, and she was about to grab it and go when she heard something...odd coming from the direction of MJ’s bedroom. Movement, a steady squeak of box springs, and...was that  _ moaning _ ?

Betty’s eyes widened. Clearly MJ hadn’t thought anyone else was here after they’d left, so she decided it was time to go - Liz was still waiting downstairs, completely unaware of the goings-on in her own apartment. She grabbed the sunscreen, shoved it in her bag, and headed towards the door (with every intention of shutting it quietly so as not to alert MJ of her presence), but then there had been another loud moan from MJ’s bedroom that stopped Betty in her tracks.

Because  _ that _ had definitely been a guy.

_ MJ was with someone? _

A lot of things clicked into place at that moment, namely why MJ had been hard to pin down lately. If she had been seeing someone, it would make sense why they’d barely seen her this summer.  _ But who on earth- _

“Oh  _ god _ ,  _ MJ _ .”

Betty’s jaw dropped. 

Because she knew that voice. And  _ that _ was absolutely, most definitely, the one and only Peter Parker.

_ It’s about fucking time. _

She'd stood there in her shock for a moment, a hand over her mouth as she fought the urge to scream or yell about this. And then it had occurred to her that she had no one here to revel in the moment with. With that, Betty had scurried out of the apartment, locking the door behind her and racing down the stairs to meet up with Liz outside. 

She couldn’t  _ believe _ it. A million thoughts ran through her head as she headed down the stairs.  _ How long had this been going on? Why had they kept it a secret? Did anyone else know? _

She  _ had  _ to tell Liz.

Which is exactly what she’d intended to do, but as soon as she’d made it outside Liz had leaned off of the iron gate that surrounded their complex and said, “There you are. I was wondering what was taking so -”

“Liz, oh my god, I  _ have _ to tell you something,” she’d interrupted without preamble, gripping onto her friend’s forearms in anticipation.

Liz raised a curious eyebrow, seemingly very concerned with whatever it was she had to say. “Okay…” she’d said cautiously, drawing out the word.

“Okay,” Betty let out a breath. “I swear I’m not trying to gossip, but this is just,” she let out a little squeal, clearly startling Liz, but continued on. “This is  _ huge _ , I can’t believe -”

“Betty!” Liz said with a laugh. “Just tell me what’s going on.”

“Okay, okay,” she’d said with a wave of her arms. She let out a slow breath in an attempt to collect herself, but as soon as she spoke the words came out in an excited rush, “I just heard Peter and MJ having  _ sex  _ in her  _ bedroom _ !” 

Liz’s eyes widened. “Oh my god, Betty.”

“I know!!”

“No, Betty,” Liz said, a look of relief on her face, “you  _ know _ .”

Betty paused. “I know? What do you mean ‘you know?’” 

“I mean, you  _ know _ , you finally know!” Liz said, a laugh bubbling out from her chest. She put a hand to her forehead, a disbelieving smile set on her face. “I can’t believe you finally know.”

“Wait,” Betty said with a wave of her hand. “ _You_ know?”

“Yes, I know! I’ve known for weeks!” Liz said with a turn, beginning to walk in the direction of their brunch destination. Betty followed. “But they’re being so weird about it - they don’t want any of us to know.”

“Wait - do they know that you know?"

"No. But - oh! Ned knows."

"Ned knows?"

She nodded. "Ned also knows. And they know that Ned knows."

"Oh.  _ Oh.  _ Oh, this is - this is a bit delicious, actually," Betty practically squeaked. The mischievous glint in her eye was enough to stop Liz in her tracks.

“What are you thinking, Brant?” she asked with narrowed eyes. 

“Call Ned, and put him on speaker.”

They pulled off to the side of the street to stop, Liz wordlessly grabbing her phone from her back pocket and clicking on Ned’s contact and the speaker button.

It rang twice before - “Liz? What’s up, I’m a little busy at the moment.”

“Ned, Betty knows,” she said quickly, before Betty could get anything out.

“Uh, Betty knows a lot of things. What, specifically, are you referring to?”

Betty took this as her turn to interject. “About MJ and Peter,” she said with her usual confidence.

There was a long pause on the other end of the line before Ned cleared his throat. “Like - you mean like how they’re friends and _ nothing more _ ?” he asked into a laugh, his voice nervous.

“No, Ned, she  _ knows _ . She heard them having sex in MJ’s bedroom this morning.”

Another long pause, and then, “Oh. They’re way worse at this than I thought.”

“You’re telling me,” Liz replied with a roll of her eyes.

Betty turned to Liz, the ever-present smirk still on her face. “So, wait, they know Ned knows but they don’t know that you know?”

“Right.” 

“But at this point, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know!” Ned said hopefully over the line.

Betty let out a low ‘hmm’ and didn’t say anything for a few moments, her face pensive. If Liz Allan knew her best friend, she was planning something - something that would likely end in disaster, but would most definitely be  _ fun _ .

“Elizabeth Brant, what is going on in that devious brain of yours?”

The smirk on Betty’s face only grew. “I just think that we have been presented with an incredible and once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to thoroughly and relentlessly tease our friends into confessing about their secret relationship when we’ve all been waiting for this to happen for the past  _ five years _ .” 

“Ugh,  _ guys _ \- ” Ned started, his voice weary.

“I’m in,” Liz said, finality ringing in her voice. “So, we mess with them. How?”

Betty’s smirk grew into a full grin, eyes sparkling with a dangerous combination of confidence and mischief.

“I have a plan.”  


**Author's Note:**

> well, there you have it, kids. part 1 is finished, and the real antics will begin in part 2 (which i make absolutely no promises to write).
> 
> maybe one day, but in the meantime, this has been sitting in my gdocs for almost a year, and i was tired of just staring at it with no follow-through on my part. so after revisiting it several times, i finally finished it last night, and now you get to have it. yay?
> 
> anyway, i'm not super active in this fandom right now (currently in critical role and she-ra brainrot mode), but my love for petermj will never cease, and i have really loved writing this group dynamic. i hope to revisit it sometime in the future.
> 
> thank you so much for reading! hope you enjoyed, and if you did, let me know in the comments below! and of course, kudos are always appreciated. <3


End file.
